Monday, August 17, 2009

Profanity, Part I

Part I. Who the fuck am I kidding.

I should just say Profanity Infinity.

I have a mouth. I know it. I get it. I know it's not 'acceptable.' Blah blah blah.

I also know that I changed the title of THIS bloggy to NOT include FUCK.

I like fuck. A lot. I do. Really.

But too many people were having to read this in a surreptitious manner both at home and at work - either the kids were around or the boss was looking. And people privately complained that they couldn't link me through THEIR OWN blogs because of the F bomb.

*sigh* I DO love the F bomb.

I digress. As usual.

So. "Damn" is the best I can do here.

The other day I was chatting in YoVille on Facebook. (Do YOU YoVille? Ya gotta. It's a simpleton's game filled with tons of kick-ass stuff to buy.)

So I was chatting in my "house" with a friend, cursed, and looked with horror at the bubble above my head. Instead of it reading, "Oh FUCK that!" It read, "Oh YADDA that!"

Yadda? Are you kidding me here? You censor my cursing in an online fake-ass be a bubble-looking person game? For real?

The good thing about this is that I now have a veritable cache of "acceptable" curses to last me at last the first two months of school. Ya know. Until my ADHD, OCD self gets distracted and needs something new and fresh.

Until further notice, when I am in social situations where I cannot drop that silky F bomb, I will utter the following:

yadda = fuck
yaddaer = fucker
yaddaing = fucking

Great, no? Bordering on genius is what I say!

A tad bit off topic but bearing a mention is the fact that Butter was playing soccer with the Pack Mule recently while I was devouring yet another Greg Iles book. They were kicking the ball back and forth a la soccer drills of some sort when Butter missed the ball. Totally whiffed it.

The Pack Mule was fucking DYING laughing. I merely raised an eyebrow. I couldn't pry my eyes from the delicious book. Pack Mule ambled over and said he overheard Butter grumble the following after he whiffed and then had to retrieve the soccer ball.

"KICK the ball! Jesus Christ! KICK the ball!"

Yeah. Self-talk. Almost coach-like. To himself. At the tender age of four.

*tear* I'm so proud. As long as he doesn't do that on the REAL field and then attribute it to me.

10 comments:

Lara said...

So call it 'Read My Yaddaing Lips'

Honib1 said...

That truly made my Tuesday morning!! I LOVE YADA!
Thank you Amy.. am having a sucky tuesday so far.. Pain level high bad weather expected the two go hand in hand .. and no sleep last night courtesy of a blond dog who wanted to to out at 1 am.. Steve let her out and I was up until I got out of bed at 6 this morning..

oh and lets not forget I love Butter too.. he always makes me smile!

So Not Wishy Washy said...

Lara - DONE. I like it. A lot.

Honi - feel damn better! Have you thought about trying acupuncture? My Dad had really good results with it. Shayna? Gah. No other words. And Butter loves YOU! We'll come visit and make bread in your kitchen. We can do side-by-side shots of your hands for a comparison! I don't think you off when you said his are likely as big as yours!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

i love the word yada...but it can never replace fuck.
years ago..and i mean like 40 years ago..when i worked at the palm gardens in portland oregon..my favorite word was and still is fuck..some waitress tried to tell me that instead of saying 'the f word' i should use the word sugar...i looked at her and said 'woopty sugar'....nope..sorry doesn't do it..
i heart tht butter boy...pep talks at his age..how cool is that.

So Not Wishy Washy said...

Jac - don't I know it. I love the word "fuck." There is NO replacement. But if it means I cam semi-curse in public more often AND get my new bloggy home on other peoples' sites, I'll yadda for a while. Ha!

Not Afraid to Use It said...

There really is no word like it. A blog friend had me on his blog roll with the descripter "Likes to say fuck, a lot." That was the best compliment anyone ever gave my blog, or me! LOL

CPA Mom said...

At least he isn't yelling "Damn it" all the time like MY 6 YO is. Damn it, where did I go wrong.

I love me the F bomb too. That's why we are sisters.

xoxo

amber said...

Love it. Very nice. :)

susan said...

Profanity Infinity
...to infinity and beyond

Lara said...

OMG LMFAO you DID!!! hahahahaha

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